It’s Not Your Fault! You Don’t Have To Stay in an Abusive Relationship
There are times during the majority of relationships when you will disagree and argue with your partner. However, that never makes it okay to physically, emotionally, verbally, or in any other way abuse each other.
Unfortunately, abusive relationships occur far too frequently in our country, with over 10 million individuals who are victims of domestic violence and abuse in the United States each year. It’s estimated that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men are victims of domestic violence and abuse. If you or someone you know believe you are being abused in any way, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or contact us at Life Forward to receive help.
Many of these individuals end up staying in an abusive relationship, which leads to the question “why do people stay in abusive relationships?” One of the reasons why people stay in abusive relationships is because they don’t fully comprehend what they involve. This is why it’s critical to know the signs of abuse in a relationship. Understanding what type of behavior is actually abusive is the first step in leaving the situation and preventing further abuse.
The next step is realizing that it’s not your fault. These abusive actions you are suffering from are not normal and are not deserved. Even when couples argue, disagree, and make mistakes, the individuals should still always treat each other with respect and love, and try to work through things together. When someone abuses you, they are not acting out of love or care.
At Life Forward, we have experienced Client Educators who are trained, willing to listen, and provide a safe and neutral environment to help you with whatever you need. This includes providing support if you are suffering from any form of abuse. We want you to feel heard and understood as you share intimate thoughts and feelings. We also have a team of medical professionals focusing on women’s health and well-being that you can talk to and ask questions regarding your body and your reproductive health. Please reach out to Life Forward to get started today!
In this article, we’ll share some of the ways that you can get out of an abusive relationship and become safe and free again.
How Can You Get Out of an Abusive Relationship?
While the first part of avoiding or removing yourself from abusive relationships is knowing the characteristics and signals that come with them, that is only the first step. You’ll actually have to get yourself out of your abusive situation, which isn’t always easy. Here are some of the most important things to help you get out of an abusive relationship:
Identify Red Flags - One of the first things you should do is identify the red flags in your partner’s behavior and try to understand the situations that tend to lead to them becoming abusive. This will allow you to try to avoid these situations and keep yourself as safe as possible while you plan to get out of the relationship.
Find Safe Areas of the House - Similarly, find safe areas of your house where you can go when your partner is displaying signs of abusive behavior. Look for areas where you can lock a door, access a phone, or get out of the house through a window or other door.
Create an Escape Plan - The most important part of getting out of an abusive relationship is making—and executing—an escape plan. You can leave your situation at any given time, but doing so without a plan may lead to more issues and not result in a permanent break. Making an escape plan will get you out of your living situation and guarantee you have options, resources, and places to go to get away from your abuser. Here are some of the steps you should consider when making a plan:
Identify a safe family member, friend, or neighbor who can help you when you need it. Talk to several people to build a safety network with multiple options. Consider using a code word so they understand what is happening without your abuser finding out.
Identify safe places to go. Work with the people in your safety network to find the best places for you to go when you leave. This could be one of their homes, a shelter, or anywhere else where your abuser wouldn’t be able to find you.
Keep an alternate cell phone. Using a “burner” phone is a good idea so your abuser can’t track your number. Have numbers, addresses, contacts, and anything else you need memorized for when you need them.
Keep copies of all important documents and other necessary information you may need on a thumb drive so you can take it at a moment’s notice.
Make a packing list of all the things you will need if you have to leave quickly. Some of the most important things include money, credit cards, medicine, your birth certificate, passport, health insurance cards, financial records, tax information, and other valuables.
Plan your transportation. Plan ahead for how you will actually leave your home. Consider making a second set of keys for your car and hiding them. Or make a plan with someone in your safety network to get picked up at a specific location at a certain time. You want to be able to get out when you are ready to leave.
Take any evidence of abuse or violence that you can so you can prove to authorities that you have been abused and are in danger. These will also be useful if you seek legal help, like for a divorce or restraining order.
Get legal help. You should consider seeking a restraining order against your abuser so you can truly be safe and protected. If you are worried about affording legal expenses, talk to local domestic abuse agencies who should be able to help you.
If you are experiencing any of the signs of abuse, you should seek help immediately. Life Forward has trained professionals who can provide support and help you if you are a victim of any type of abuse. Additionally, we can refer you to other community resources that can help you get out of your situation and move forward safely. Reach out to us today to learn more!
How Life Forward Can Help
At Life Forward, we are here to help women in the Cincinnati area who are pregnant or think they may be pregnant. In addition to consultations, pregnancy testing, and ultrasounds, we offer other educational and supportive services—as well as referrals to other community resources—at no cost to you.
Our staff of trained Client Educators and medical professionals will assist you and connect you to the resources and help you need. These resources can help you be more prepared during your pregnancy and make the best decision for yourself. Learn more about the services we offer or contact us at 513.961.7777 to schedule an appointment today!